This article's lead sectioncontains information that is not included elsewhere in the article. If this information is appropriate for the lead, it should also be included in the article's body. Relevant discussion may be found on the talk page.(February 2026) (Learn how and when to remove this message)
A one-liner is a joke that is delivered in a single line. A good one-liner is said to be pithy – concise and meaningful.[1] Comedians and actors use this comedic method as part of their performance, and many fictional characters are also known to deliver one-liners, including James Bond, who often makes pithy and laconic quips after disposing of a villain.[2]
"Never read a pop-up book about giraffes." (Sean Lock)[3]
"I went to the doctor's. I said, 'I've got a problem with the hearing in one of my ears.' He said, 'Are you sure?' I said, 'Yes, I'm definite.'" (Daniel Edison)[4]
"Throwing acid is wrong. In some people's eyes." (Jimmy Carr)[5]
"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person - so I can get a better girlfriend." (Anthony Jeselnik)[6]
"Cricket. No matter who wins, both teams, and all the fans, are losers." (Frankie Boyle)[7]
"An escalator cannot break, it can only become stairs." (Mitch Hedberg)[8]
"My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave." (Burt Reynolds)[9]
"I'm on a whiskey diet… I've lost three days already." (Tommy Cooper)[10]
"The word “gouge” used to be spelt “gouige”, until they took an “i” out." (Daniel Edison)[11]
"It's good to see me, isn't it?" (Glinda, from the musical Wicked)[12]
"I have nothing to declare except my genius." (Oscar Wilde, upon arriving at US customs, 1882)[13]
"They hired a 3-piece band that was so lousy, every time the waiter dropped a tray, we all got up and danced!" (Les Dawson)[citation needed]
